Domestic violence
Domestic violence is aggression or violence that happens in the home when a grown up attacks or threatens another adult in the family.
When can domestic violence happen?
Domestic violence can happen in any family and in all kinds of homes. Even if the violence is not aimed at you, you can get hurt too. You might be in the same or next room when the violence is going on and this can be extremely distressing. They may also be violent towards you too.
What happens when someone is being abused through domestic violence?
Domestic violence can mean lots of different things. These include:
- Physical abuse - hurting someone by hitting, pushing or kicking
- Emotional abuse - saying things on purpose to frighten the other person or putting them down to make them feel bad. For example, constantly saying that someone is stupid or ugly
- Controlling behaviour - preventing someone by force from acting freely. This can include keeping them from seeing relatives and friends, not letting them have a job or not letting them spend money
Why don't people being abused just leave?
Many people do leave the person hurting them, but it takes a lot of courage. Lots of families live with abuse for many months or even years. People stay with abusive partners for many reasons, here are just some of them:
- They may be too scared to leave.
- They may not have any money or anywhere to go.
- They may worry about taking their children out of school and moving to a new area.
- They may be so worn down by all that's happened and not have the strength to go.
Is it my fault?
No it isn't your fault. Grown-ups and children should feel safe and secure in their homes. Domestic violence is wrong and you and your family do not have to put up with it.
It can be hard if one of your parents or carers is violent towards the other, or if one of your brothers or sisters is violent, especially if you love them. It's normal to feel confused and hurt about what is happening. It can help to talk about how you feel. If you want to talk you can call us about it anytime.
What can I do to make it stop?
Adults need to sort out their problems for the violence to stop. Let them know how much it hurts you when they fight. They may not know how upset you are or even realise you know the violence is happening.
If your brother or sister is being violent towards you or someone else in your family, you can get help.
Talking about what is happening can help make it stop. You are not responsible for fixing it and shouldn't be worried about a parent's safety. If you can't talk to your parents, another responsible adult like a teacher can help. We are here for you to talk to whenever you want to and we can help you sort out the problem.